#i started with a character that could at best be described as a selfish asshole with few redeeming qualities

[twilightofthesandwiches]

The thing that I’ve been thinking of is… so one of Dib’s most defining traits and flaws is supposed to be his desire for fame and emotional validation. You know he is fighting to protect the earth, but he’s also fighting for the sake of his own ego

It’s got a lot of fun potential because it’s both extremely understandable - he’s been bullied and emotionally neglected for his entire life, it’s no wonder his biggest fantasy is just to be loved - but it can also motivate some really selfish acts. Not to mention how much it acts as a mirror to Zim’s own desire for respect and prestige among his own people.

And because of that, I guess it actually kinda surprises me that they never tried to have Dib pull a… reverse Planet Jackers moment? Like, just as Zim will protect the Earth from outside threats because he wants the credit for destroying it - will Dib help Zim if his ability to get credit for defeating him is threatened?

Like, I imagine a story where maybe Dib meets a rival paranormal investigator, and the guy’s like a Super Mega Asshole to Dib and also thinks he’s crazy. And then this guy manages to capture Zim and it seems like he’s going to be the one to expose him to the world and get all the credit for foiling his infiltration scheme. The credit that Dib feels he rightly deserves. Or he simply get a chance to defeat Zim, but there are no witnesses and no evidence and no chance anyone will ever believe him. 

For Dib, stopping Zim and proving to the world that he’s been right all along have always been interwoven goals. He has always taken it for granted that doing the former will naturally lead to the latter… So how will he deal with a situation where Zim can be stopped for good, but his situation will not change. No one will know or believe what he just did, he would just be the same ridiculed social pariah - the only thing he actually accomplished is that he has gotten rid of his best chance to change that permanently.

And you know, he doesn’t necessarily have to take that chance to help Zim or let him go - even just having Dib struggle with the idea momentarily could be a very strong character moment for him. I think it’s a shamefully underutilized aspect of his canon characterization and I do hope we’d get to see it played with more one of these days. 

But you know which piece of canon really came closest to tackling this aspect?

Dib’s little plan for Zim in ETF is not quite exactly what I was talking about above - but there are some similarities.

I’ve seen some people talk about Dib’s ETF plan like it was meant to be a favor to Zim or some sort of attempt at redemption for him or like… a thing that Zim benefit from in any sort of way? Like, I've seen some people describe the plot of ETF like Zim's manipulation of Dib’s plan was him using Dib’s kindness and empathy against him? And that’s not exactly what’s happening here.

To recap, Dib tries to stage yet another confrontation between himself and Zim (to let off steam from his Daddy Issues) only to find Zim a total emotional wreck, depressed to the point of total apathy. His first instinct is to drag him away to ‘lock him up’ but... he’s not really feeling it.

Something’s not quite right about winning like this. And then, he shifts to empathy 

But then, he shifts again, when he realizes the ‘real’ thing he’s been missing - a crowd.

The real reason this victory was feeling hollow is because he hasn’t made it public enough! If he's going to use Zim's emotional rock-bottom as a way to finally defeat him and condemn him into a life of painful experiments.... he wants to do it in front of a cheering crowd!

And while Zim’s scheme seems to have started once he first laid eyes on the Membracelet 

That plan couldn’t have worked without Dib’s own scheme to exploit Zim’s suicidal depression to get him in front as many people as possible so that Dib can get worldwide fame and Daddy’s approval and Zim can get... experimented on for the rest of his life. 

There was no kindness here to exploit, only a desperate desire for emotional validation.

The big mistake Dib did that allowed Zim the window of opportunity he needed to take over Membrane Labs was not doing the Kind Thing when he should’ve done the Practical Thing - and it was not doing the Cruel Thing when he should’ve done the Kind Thing. Dib had his chance to do the Practical Thing right there and then - kill or capture Zim while he’s not fighting back. He considered doing the Kind Thing (empathizing with Zim) and he decided to abandon both of them in favor of… the thing that will get him the most fame and attention.

And that’s the weakness of Dib that Zim exploited in his scheme. And that’s the thing that almost doomed planet Earth. Quite ironically, it’s literally a flaw Zim himself possesses quite strongly.

If Dib was willing to think purely in terms of what’s safest for Earth he would’ve taken out Zim right there and then and Earth would be safe forever - but for the sake of his own ego he took a risk that the planet almost paid very dearly for. 

(And if he was willing to resist the temptation of fame and continue with the thread of empathy he showed Zim? Well, we can only speculate of what would've happened then...)

It’s not quite what I was talking about above; Dib would’ve probably gotten some of the fame and validation he wanted if he just stomped Zim’s head right there and dragged his corpse out - he just wanted as much attention as possible. And he didn’t knowingly help Zim or even seriously considered it as much as he was just tricked into a situation of Mutually Assured Bastardness. But I think it is the closest we’ve come so far, and I think it’s interesting.

[hxhhasmysoul]

Hello....Do you mind if I ask your top 5 (or top 10) favorite moments from any media that you love (can be books, anime/manga, tv series, movies, games, etc)? Thanks if you want to answer. Sorry if I ask too much....

Sorry it took me almost 2 months to answer. Thank you for the ask :)

You’re not asking too much, it’s just that anytime anyone asks me x top anything, I forget ever interacting with anything. So this list will be, well an attempt at remembering some media to put onto here.

The Witcher Saga (book), vol 4. 

The moment close to the end of the book, when Ciri confronts her pursuers on the frozen lake around the Tower of the Swallow. It really shows how far Ciri has come as a character, a person and as a fighter. It’s got amazing tension and tempo because it’s from the pov of the hunters turned prey. And it’s less jargon nonsense than most other fights in the Witcher. Also it’s one of the last good scenes in the saga, vol 5 honestly doesn’t exist in my heart.

Millennium Actress

This film is honestly one big chain of favurite moments and so fucking hard to choose. I just love its structure and all those moments when Chiyoko starts answering their questions and suddenly Genya and his cameraman realise they are in a movie. The flow of the thought remains unobstructed despite the scenery change. Even for those three characters that are talking in the present. It’s probably my favourite Satoshi Kon piece. This or Paprika. 

Berserk manga or the first anime

The eclipse, I mean for obvious reasons. The emotional charge of the eclipse between Gutts, Casca and Gryffith is something hard to describe. Gryffith’s choice is so horrible yet understandable in his situation.  I haven’t picked Berserk up in a while but the visuals of the eclipse and the horror and emotional pain of it are etched into my heart. And Berserk has more moments like that. Of course moments that include Gutts, Casca and Gryffith. But for example Farnese and Serpico’s backstory has a  similarly intense emotional charge. 

Hunter x Hunter manga or anime

The dodgeball game. Another obvious and basic choice. It has a nice combination of serious and lighter elements. Of course there is tension because there is a very rare card at stake. But also lives or grave injury are at stake too. And the scene really adds nicely to both Gon and Killua’s characterisations and shows the subtleties of their bond.

Jujutsu Kaisen manga

Yuuji’s domain expansion. I mean I could invoke so many Yuuji scenes. But the domain expansion is really so quintessentially his. It matches his personality so well and it really fits as what ends the fight with Sukuna. And throughout the manga Yuuji’s convictions are challenged and sometimes damaged and he needs to rethink and rebuild them. He also is put in a position when he needs to give his life meaning and value and during the domain expansion he lays out his conclusions.

The Duchess 2008

This movie has few weak moments and is a Keira Knightley masterpiece, even if it plays very fast and loose with the real life story of Georgeina Spencer. My favourite moment is her argument with her husband after he fucks her best friend Elizabeth. It may be the only time that selfish prick has even an inkling that he’s an irredeemable asshole. It doesn’t stick, not even for that scene but Keira is splendid in it. Honestly the duke is played by Ralph Fiennes, who’s considered a great actor and he kinda disappears when faced with Keira’s performance.

Disco Elysium

Dancing in the abandoned church. On my first playthrough I missed a lot of stuff because I was pushing the main plot line too much or because I didn’t have the stats to unlock certain stuff. And because I kinda didn’t decide on a direction to take with Harry, into the past or into the future because I just didn’t know enough about the game. What I’d promised myself for my subsequent playthrough was to play it very Disco, very into the future and very sidequest oriented, especially pale/cryptid oriented. And that’s how I got to dance with Kim and speak to her, not the basic ex her, or the creepy historical her. To the best her of the game. 

The Pillow Book

The moment Shounagon breaks off a romance with a guy because he won’t exchange poetry with her. As you should, who has time for uncultured men like that? The Pillow Book kinda reads as if I was looking through an art book. It’s kinda art and aesthetic first. But it can be very honest at times.

___

I've ran out of steam and ideas, but you got 8. I think that's a fair number.

[thaimeiser]

I thought of something and I apologize if anyone pointed that out before, I swear I didn't see it and I'm not stealing your observation.

I was talking to a friend of mine about He Tian's and She Li's obssession towards Mo Guan Shan when I suddenly realized that Old Xian is way clever than I thought. And the meaning behind that conclusion is that they could represent an obssession, the feeling of possessiveness with another person, that at the same time that is very similar, the objective behind it is totally different.

In the begining of 19 Days I have to admit that I hated the relationship between HT and MGS because it was full of possessiveness, abuse, violence and threatens. I know MGS was totally wrong in the incident with Zhan Zheng Xi but I saw no reason to He Tian's continuous actions towards him. It was only with time and perseverence that I learned how to start really liking their relationship.

As I was discussing with my friend, HT's past is what made him behave like that. He didn't have a mother nor a father to actually care about him, only He Cheng but he was involved with the mafia, the thing HT hated the most so you can guess what type of teen he grew up to be. A person without almost any sense of love or affection, a person who wasn't familiar with the idea of what caring actually is. So when MGS stepped into his life he did to him the only thing he knew to do. Demonstrate his feelings through domination and possessive behaviour, because that was what life teached him to do/be. Being selfish and doing what he "needed" to get what he wanted.

I'm not gonna waste too much time talking about all the aspects about HT and MGS relationship, but in summary I can say that I'm really proud of our boys. I'm proud of HT for starting to realize that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he wasn't going to get MGS trust or love by being a total asshole and forcing the boy to like him. His character development is still on-going, he still gotta a lot to learn, sometimes we can forget but they're still teens. That fact won't erase the very bad things he did in the past, nor do I want it to because it all shows how much our boy has improved through time, but it shows that he can be very mature for boys his age.

Whilst we see the development of HT, we see the decay of She Li to his worst period. She Li's obssession with MGS can be clearlier than HT's because he isn't after MGS love, he is after MGS undoing. He wants to see the boy wrecked, destroid and he makes it very clear.

In my point of view based in what we could see about She Li's childhood, he's also from a complicated family. His parents seemed to argue a lot to the point where their kid was being taken care by some servants, and I suppose he grew up like HT, without enough love or affection. That made him cold and distant, and with a strange fascination for d*ath and hurting people/animals. He's described as a ps*cho. I can't confirm if he really is one, but his obssession and need to dominate and humilliate MGS is an enormous red flag.

In this chapter we can see the difference between him and MGS, how they were treated. I don't think jealousy is the best word to describe what he might have felt, cause I'm not sure if he's actually capable of feeling it, I'd rather say envyness. He's envy because that little boy was feeling and having everything he didn't get the chance to experiment. MGS was feeling pain, a sensation that She Li couldn't, and was being held caringly by his mother, another thing She Li didn't have.

She Li, then, found the opportunity and started to treat MGS like an animal, "his dog", so he could take out his anger and frustration on that lucky boy who had everything. I believe he enjoys seeing MGS miserable because that's the only moment where he can actually feel something. He must feel powerfull and proud of himself for making MGS look so pityfull.

And that is the biggest difference between HT's and She Li's obsession towards MGS.

While HT seeks for MGS attention, love and affection, She Li searches for his ruin so he himself can feel something.

HT feels a desire.

She Li feels envyness.

Even though they both have a similar past and a possessive obsession with the same boy, they followed extremely different paths, in which one can find hope and the other decay.

And I admire Old Xian for creating such similar, but at the same time, opposite characters.

Yet again I apologize if someone pointed that out before and I apologize for any errors, english is not my mother language.

[makeste]

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua​ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua​ and @class1akids​’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua​ pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

[calronhunt]

WITH THE MEME. theron with 1, 6, 7, 29, dominic with 11, 19 32

THERON

Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Theron's an only child for one, and possibly? His father doesn't have any siblings so he doesn't have any cousins on that side of the family, but I think his mother has some? so it's possibly he has some cousins around his age in India that he is just barely in contact with. No one he was particularly close to though (Out of anyone, Theron was closest to his father). probably just some cousins he saw every couple of years for a weekend or so.

and as for friends, uhhhhh he sees Dominic as a kind of brother figure. Not in a "you are actually my brother" kind of way, but in a like "You have been with me through a lot and i feel like i can trust you with anything" kinda way. which is clearly a good thing for him to believe and doesn't hurt him at all.

6/7. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams/nightmares?

combining these two to save some space. Mmmmmaybe?? Theron dreams about his dad a lot though. Having dreams where his dad accepts him for being gay and on the flipside, having nightmares where his dad DOESN'T and bad stuff happens. Theron's dad was a very important person in Theron's life. and even though Theron knows his father's view on homosexuality (he was very vocal about not liking the Consul being a gay man) Theron still holds out hope that his dad would've accepted HIM. but he will never know that answer because his dad died before Theron had figured out his sexuality. and it really haunts Theron and his dreams.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

Shadowhunters, sadly, don't have many options than going into the demon killing business. Killing demons is their job, and every shadowhunter child is put forth into this occupation. The only other option for Theron would be to become a Silent Brother (shadowhunter doctors, who have their eyes and mouths sealed shut with runes and also deal with shadowhunter funerals and births), or he could always be deruned and become a mundane. Which is painful and shameful process.

So yeah Theron from early childhood really wanted to be the best shadowhunter he could be, because he didn't have many other options. did he achieve that dream? possibly! He is considered one of the best shadowhunters in his generation (only second to dominic)

DOMINIC

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

If i'm going to be completely honest it's the situation the he was in the prologue of Crushed Olive Branch. Imagine being 5 years old, not remembering anything except your mom, she's not there, AND you're in a place you've never been before. Terrifying. There are other part of his childhood that weren't GREAT but i wouldn't describe them as him being "afraid." sadly. Dominic doesn't really scare easily.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

lol. lol. lol. If we're talking Academy age Dominic, honestly he's a big people pleaser. He WANTS people to like him, so he goes along with things most people say. He had a couple girlfriends in academy, none of them lasted very long tho (because of his repressed homosexuality or his severe people pleaser attitude, you decide). He eventually stopped trying to do the whole "Girlfriend" thing and just started having casual hookups.

if we're talking CURRENT Dominic, than this bitch is such a selfish asshole. He's not a people pleaser anymore, he's wants people to please HIM. He got such a fucking ego that he thinks everyone needs to conform to his ideals and worldview and that everything would be easier if people just listened to him. will that ruin relationships for him? well luckily i am making a comic about just that thing.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

when things are not about him.

was very tempted to just leave it at that, but i should probably give a like. GENUINE answer.

Honestly i think Dominic is the most uncomfortable when he's receiving some pushback. He's very used to people just going along with what he says, that if someone gives him genuine pushback he doesn't totally know how to respond except by saying some shit about he knows best and all that shit. He's such a shitty dude man.

[kob131]

So, inspired by Shuttershocky’s own character opinions, I think I’ll start doing my own.

And no, I’m not doing Mordred first. She comes later.

Nah, considering a certain Ruler’s recent reveal, I think I’ll talk about a certain Shirou-face.

So quick overview of Angra Mainju-

He’s not actually the Zoroastrian god of Evil. No, he’s actually more like Sasaki Kojiro- The guy who the myth of Angra Mainju is BASED off of. He was just some ordinary villager who drew the shortest of straws and was used as a scapegoat for the sins of his villagers, tortured for decades until he died of old age. Because of this, he has a pretty nasty hatred of humanity. Which you would think would disqualify him from being a Heroic Spirit (I mean, logically who would consider him a hero?) but it’s said that his torture put the villagers at ease, meaning he did technically do a heroic deed and thus was preserved by the Throne of Heroes.

In the Third Holy Grail War, the Einsberns tried to summon the evil god but, for a multitude of reasons that include it not existing in the first place, they got him instead. Problem? The guy isn’t a normal hero, he’s a village boy who got tortured. He doesn’t have any special powers or even a proper Noble Phantasm. So of course, he gets his ass kicked. But thing is, he was so weak the Grail thought he was a human and thus tried to grant his wish.

Which was to actually BECOME All The World’s Evil.

And so the Grail tried to do it...but things got fucky. So the next two wars are basically just attempts at bring his wish to life. He...kind of exists here? Issue is that in Fate/Zero and Fate/Stay Night, Angra Mainju is more a force of nature or a being of pure evil rather than the tortured village boy he actually is. So for simplicity’s sake AND due to how radically different ‘All The World’s Evil’ is- I’ll just skip over his supposed presence in those two and move on.

Despite his wished for form’s destruction in Fate/Stay Night, Angra Mainju survived. In fact, his time as “All The World’s Evil” turned him into a proper Heroic Spirit, giving him an actual Noble Phantasm and actual status as a Heroic Spirit. Here, he gains a sort of obsession with granting wishes. So he goes around looking for someone’s wish to grant. During this time, he finds Bazett Frega McRemitz (AKA The ACTUAL Master of Cu Chulanin before Kirei decided to do what he does best: Fuck people over) dying, wishing not to die. And thus, Angra Mainju does his best to keep her alive. For 6 months, this meant keeping her alive but in a vegetative state. 

After being discovered by Caren Hortensia (Kirei’s daughter. ... This is kind of important later), this meant keeping her alive AND sustaining her consciousness. To do this, he creates Fate/Hollow Ataraxia’s four day loop (the same length of time he survived his war.) Through this, he tricks Bazett into thinking that she’s participating in the Fifth Holy Grail War. Issue being, Angra knows little more than jackshit about said war so what ends up happening is that he uses the Third Grail War structure with Fifth Grail War players as stand-ins. He is also only active with Bazett at night, the catch being that the person that the player thinks they’re controlling (Shirou) is actually an unaware Angra, living out his own wish of a normal life.

At first, Angra is just being selfish and indulging himself during this time. However, over time, his interactions with the people in Shirou’s life, Shirou’s own influence over him (as having lost his identity, he effectively needs to adopt another’s to exist) and, most importantly, his new found relationship with Bazett and Caren causes him to try and end the four day loop. This going against his Master’s wishes, as she fears that she will die due to finding out about the loop and losing Avenger, who is assumed to become nothing once again. However, he manages to convince her by revealing he really did save her life and that she had to move on. So at the end, he and Bazett race to opposite ends of the Grail, Bazett back to life and Angra Mainju embracing oblivion once again.

So...yeah. Pretty heavy stuff even with me skipping some stuff.

We only really learn about Angra Mainju in Fate/Hollow Ataraxia, since that’s where we truly meet him as a person. And at the beginning...he’s not a good person. Avengers in general are known for being highly destructive, malicious and dangerous Servants because their Class effectively puts them on edge at all times, constant consumed by hate. As the first Avenger, Angra both embodies this and subverts it at the same time.

Yes he is consumed by hate. ... But said hate is not an emotional state like other Avengers. His hate is his nature by the point we meet him. Meaning he isn’t on edge like his fellows, he isn’t clouded by extreme emotion. For all his cynicism and malice, he’s by far the calmest and most rational Avenger we have seen so far. Which makes some of his actions (like killing a family to draw out his enemies) come across as even worse than normal since he isn’t openly insane. Even beyond this, Angra is a sarcastic asshole who loves fucking with people and being insulting.

However, as things go on, as he lives the life of Shirou Emiya and the Servant of Bazett, he gets better. Sure, he’s still rude as all hell. But the guy does show he cares about Bazett and thinks about her well being. He falls in love with Caren, who does love him back (if you’re wondering how: I believe it’s implied Caren suffers from the same condition Kirei did in regards to empathy. So makes sense she’d love an embodiment of hate and vengence) and he did enjoy living as Shirou, revealing that beneath the hate that became his nature- He’s just a normal guy who got SEVERELY fucked over. Hell, when Medusa was on the verge of morphing into Gorgon, Angra walks by and talks to her. He gives her a speech on what it means to be a monster and ends up helping her prevent her transformation, even though having her become a monster would help him make people suffer (and maybe even someone who understands him, as Gorgon is an Avenger herself.)

Just as his lack of emotional distress makes his evil actions worse, it also means he’s capable of change and becoming good. He learns love and care despite having lived a life no one could even comprehend, forced into a Class that is more like a curse than an honor. Despite his hatred of humanity, he still believes in it somewhat. He adopts some of Shirou’s heroic traits through living his life. And at the very end, this jackass who started things off by killing random innocents...ends up making the ultimate sacrifice, one where he gains nothing but loses everything, where he really doesn’t want to do it...all because he came to care for Bazett.

I’ll admit, I sobbed at the end.

Now, Angra isn’t really used in any serious manner after this. He appears in the Accel/Zero and Christmas in the Underworld events...mostly as jokes. However, I would like to note his Bond 10 Craft Essence. These CEs are effectively summations of the characters themselves. For example, Mordred’s Bond 10 effectively sums up her identity issues. And Angra Mainju’s?

It’s all about how he was a necessary evil, his life taken from him, hatred burned into him...

...and how Caren, despite seeing it all, still loved him.

And the CEs effect? A Guts buff and the ability to hurt Beast class enemies in a way no other Servant can replicate.

In essence, that love gives him the ability to keep living (with his strongest skill KILLING him btw) and to more effectively protect the world. And considering how the Beasts are related to humanity, it might just be because that love made him human again.

In short, Angra Mainju is a person forced into a role, his nature overwritten by his torture, cursed by fate because of others, indulging in his role because it’s all he knows-

And yet, even he finds a way to become a better person. All culminating in a sacrifice that can only be described as ‘Heroic’.

He truly is a Heroic Spirit.

[carol-effing-danvers]

Steve Rogers is a Monster

Yeah, that’s a hell of a title, isn’t it? Strap in, it only gets worse from here. 

(click here if you’d prefer to read this on AO3)

Forewarning, if you enjoyed the epilogue for Endgame, this particular essay is not for you - and no, I am not bashing the Steve/Peggy shippers, you are beautiful human beings who make the fandom brighter and I’m happy that at least someone in this fandom got the ending they wanted.

Additional warning: if you expect this to be another Civil War debate, you will also be disappointed. There has never been a measurement invented that can adequately describe how much I loathe the verbal dick measuring contest that seems to pass for human interaction between Tony Stark and Steve Rogers in this franchise. It’s not funny or entertaining - it’s exhausting, uncomfortable, and frankly it’s rather lazy writing.

This is about the very specific way that the epilogue in Endgame completely changed the way the character of Steve Rogers can be interpreted, and I don’t just mean the very illogical and contradictory way that time travel is explained, both in the movie itself and the fact that the writers and directors have two completely different views on how that worked out. 

I mean that the choice made by Steve Rogers in the very last minutes of that movie alters the way I view each and every one of his actions starting from The First Avenger and that alteration is exactly what I want to talk about, because whether you view it as deserving or not, what Steve does at the conclusion of Endgame was the most selfish thing humanly possible. Time is a thief, but somehow Steve managed to steal even more than Time.

Side note here: I understand that I am a completely biased Stucky shipper, a friend to Barnes and Noble, a Starbucks aficionado - sorry. Anyway, I’ve always believed that Steve and Bucky were destined blah blah blah, but I was never expecting a Stucky ending. Disney wasn’t going to do that, and I knew that, I wasn’t bothered that Steve and Bucky weren’t doing the smoochies by the end. But Bucky’s facial expression during those last minutes was gut-wrenching. Like...I have no idea what kind of cues the script and directors gave him, but in the future, please don’t ask Sebastian Stan to look sad unless you want soul-crushing devastation. It’s not Seb’s fault, his features are just arranged that way - but the fact that the editing staff allowed Sam to be sad though elated to be entrusted with the Shield and Bucky looked like his soul was being physically torn out of his body was an… interesting choice. 

Other side note: if you’re writing about time travel, I’m begging y’all to get your facts straight. Or just don’t write about time travel. It almost always sounds better on paper than it does on screen and it means that you’ve opened doors to more questions than you’ve probably got the answers for. I know this was about trying to set up the idea of the multiverse, I get that, but there were better and less messy ways to do that, and I know that because I’ve done it before. @Marvel: Let me write you a six-way orgy you fucking cowards~

By going back in time, Steve robbed Peggy of the future that would have been hers - not only that, he’s robbed her of even the chance of making the choice between those futures, because you honestly could not tell me with a straight face that Steve told her the complete truth of what he had done and she would be okay with him alternating the very course of the future. It doesn’t help his case that he has a history of not disclosing truths that he knows will be painful or inconvenient for other people in his life.

He robbed his loved ones - Sam, Bucky, Wanda - of the years they would have spent with him. Sure, he ‘came back’ after Peggy passed away, but they are adults in the prime of youth who knew him sixty years ago in his own time and he is an old, old man who has lived an entire life completely separated from them. He is practically a stranger with a name they know, but a history that no longer belongs to any of them - not even his oldest friend. They have him back, but judging from his age, they’ll be lucky to get even ten more years with him. Assuming of course, that any of them can stand to speak to him - I certainly couldn’t blame them if they tell him to go to hell and take his dad jokes with him. 

Steve has stolen away their friend and dropped off an elderly and dying near-stranger in his place, and this is treated by the writing (and the majority of the acting) as a wild and unexpected but not tragic event. 

Is it really that unexpected, though?

I recall seeing a Game of Thrones essay on Daenerys across my dash (I’m sorry, love, I don’t recall who you are since it’s not a fandom I’m in, but if someone knows who wrote that, please post the link!) which detailed how her ending in the series was foreshadowed many times by her penchant for bloody killings and her habit of surrounding herself with her own fawning friends.

Months after reading that, I had the thought: though Steve is never really shown thinking about Peggy after Civil War, except in a few scattered scenes in Endgame, was this foreshadowed? Whether you believe that his actions are justified or not, what Steve does is still, in the end, selfish at its very heart, and Steve Rogers is not a selfish person. 

Oh no, my dear friends and readers. Because taking this action has solidified and clarified Steve Rogers as the biggest and most selfish asshole in this whole universe.

Steve does not do the right thing, Steve does the thing that will most make him feel better. The fact that this often happens to be the right thing in the end is more the result of happy coincidence than any special sort of moral authority that the man holds. 

Rescuing Bucky Barnes and his fellow captives in a prisoner of war camp from being experimented on by an insane Nazi eugenicist? That was not a moral stand, that was endangering himself, Peggy Carter, and Howard Stark because he couldn’t handle the reality of his best friend being killed in war.

Sacrificing himself by putting the Valkyrie down in the Arctic Circle? That was not about sparing human lives, that was about Steve seeing his friend die right in front of him and not being able to deal with the grief. There were ways he could’ve prevented the plane from killing people without killing himself.

Trying to make Bucky remember who he was? And later on, saving him from the government agencies who wanted to hunt him down? Although, arguably, that last one is also just good common sense - Steve was already shown that government agencies could and were corrupted by HYDRA and he’d also seen how dangerous the Winter Soldier could be when unleashed. 

Steve did, I think, truly believe that this was the right thing to do, but it was also about keeping his connection - his very last, since Peggy had descended into dementia caused by Alzheimer’s before she ultimately died - to a past that for him, was only months or years ago, rather than decades. In some ways, this is completely understandable - Bucky might be the very last person left alive who truly knows who the real Steve Rogers is, because the rest of these people only know Captain America and we are consistently shown through multiple movies how uncomfortable this makes him.

This gets...considerably less and less understandable as we are shown Steve’s growing relationships with Natasha, Sam, Wanda - even Sharon, though she barely gets any screen time and they share the most awkward kiss I’ve ever seen - and indeed, what might be the most uncomfortable kiss in cinema history.

Side Note 3: This is made even more awkward by the director’s choice to have two of Steve’s friends watching them the whole time - seriously, who even does that? Why would you make them do that? Only sociopaths make out with their friends staring at them like that. It’s so fucking creepy - and don’t even get me fucking started on the fact that she’s also apparently his own niece. AHHHHH!

But we are shown, over and over again, that Steve is capable of building close meaningful relationships with people in the present. They don’t know his whole history, but they do know Steve Rogers rather than Captain America and they care about him deeply. 

Side Note 4: Notice that I don’t count Tony Stark among those people - despite this strangely persistent narrative that the various writers and directors tried to sell to the audience, Tony and Steve were not friends. They were never friends. They were colleagues at best, but these were two men who neither liked nor understood each other very well, but had to work together. And sometimes that’s okay, too. (Oh dear, I just gave the Stony fans a fit too, didn’t I? Sorry, guys. Enemies to Lovers is a great trope, I support you!)

But let’s set aside Steve’s gross betrayal of the people who loved him. We’ll also ignore the question of whether the motive for these good actions has tainted the actions themselves. Because even without questioning these, the conclusion of this story arc still transforms Steve into the biggest monster this franchise has. 

The very fundamental way that the writers and directors can’t agree on how the time travel mechanics in their own story work mean that Steve has just done one of two things and they range from shady and very questionable to absolutely fucking horrific. 

The first, that he’s created his own alternate universe to exist in, is morally dubious at best. Even the people who support this theory and liked the ending seem to feel that it wasn’t necessarily a ten out of ten on the moral goodness spectrum. They’ll say things like ‘he deserved to have his happy ending’. Even that phrasing seems to acknowledge that doing this was the opposite of the right thing. It just considers doing the wrong thing as being justified rather than horrifying. 

But let’s examine this first idea for a minute - even this, the more innocent of the two implications, means that rather than really processing his grief or dealing with the repeated tragedies and losses that have occured in his life, even as he was running group therapy sessions and grief counseling, Steve Rogers chose to escape his current life by creating an alternate universe that specifically allows he himself to live out his own fucking fantasies of the way his life should have turned out. 

That, in case you are not aware, is wildly fucked up. I thought I was playing pretty fast and loose with Steve’s characterization when I turned him into an extremely polite serial killer but as it turns out, I clearly just wasn’t setting the bar high enough, because that’s somehow even more fucked up than being an undercover child soldier with a small sadistic streak. 

Hm, and now I feel I should have been more creative there...

The second, and even more horrifying option, is that this older Steve Rogers has been in this world the whole time, watching as things unfolded just as we’ve seen over the past decade, taking ‘the slow way’ through time. 

Side Note 5: I do kind of understand why you would do it this way, because that’s really cool and shocking when you say that! Until you think about it for longer than three seconds and suddenly you realize…

Everything that has happened here, every tragedy and downfall these people experienced, happened because Steve Rogers lived his happily ever after with his beautiful wife and did absolutely nothing to stop it. He got to fuck Peggy Carter and watched as his wife built an empire of intelligence networks, knowing that her efforts were completely in vain because her agency was rotten to the core and he never told her.

Every horrifying act committed by HYDRA under the guise of SHIELD was permitted through Steve Rogers’ negligence. And that’s just the wider big-picture worldview, large and shocking, but not personal. 

What about the people that Steve claims to actually care about? 

This means that Steve lived his whole life in contentment with his wife and children while his best friend was physically and psychologically tortured for over seventy years and just...let that go. 

He allowed one friend to murder another in the nineties, when the Winter Soldier was sent after Howard and Maria Stark. Then their child was being advised by a greedy self-interested warmonger who paid terrorists to drag him off to be tortured and slaughtered, and Steve did nothing about that, either. 

Bruce Banner was exploited, experimented on, and made into a monster against his will in the failed pursuit of recreating what was done to Steve, resulting in billions of dollars in damage and dozens or even hundreds of lives lost, and Steve allowed that to happen, too. 

Like Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov was physically and psychologically tortured for others to use her as a living weapon - except that this was probably happening to her since early childhood, and a man her future self loved and trusted implicitly did nothing to save her from this upbringing. 

The Maximoff twins are shown to have not wealthy but loving parents who are murdered in front of them and they both endure days of laying in the rubble of their ruined apartment, wondering if the bomb in their living room would go off and kill them. Later, they are taken in by HYDRA, experimented on, and recruited as child soldiers to the cause when they show signs of having supernatural powers. They start a series of events that result in the destruction of a major city and the loss of what is probably thousands of lives. Pietro is murdered while trying to help the Avengers to stop this, and Wanda suffers the loss of the very last living person she loved. None of these things seem to have bothered Future Steve. 

Steve “I can’t sit on the sidelines when I see a situation go sideways” Rogers, planted himself on that fucking sideline and observed for nearly eighty years as friends, colleagues, and his own wife were lied to, brainwashed, tortured, vilified, and hunted down like animals.

And then there Steve Rogers himself - not the Endgame Steve Rogers, the Steve Rogers who brought down a Nazi plane and will lie beneath the ice for seventy years while everything he knows disappear (mostly) innocent of these horrors, the life he would’ve lived stolen from him by a stranger with his name and his face from another universe.

What I’m saying here is that if you consider this idea for any amount of time, it took Steve Rogers less than ten minutes to become the most evil and disturbing figure in the entire MCU, only (not really tho) contested by Thanos himself. 

Gross and poorly reasoned libertarian ethics aside, Thanos genuinely believes that he did what he did for the sake of the entire population. It’s made fairly explicitly clear that Steve didn’t do this for anyone but himself. 

Call me crazy, but if everyone you know needs to suffer and multiple planet-wide devestations have to happen in order for you to get your happy ending, you might be the bad guy. 

Maybe I’m just old-fashioned?

[jalapeno-princess]

Bad For You Chapter 1

Fuckboy Mark Tuan X Reader

Genre: Angst, fluff (in future chapters), smut(maybe in a future chapter I’m still debating how I feel about that)

Word Count: 4.4K

Summary: Being a senior in college with less than two semesters in your entire educational career, you try your best not to get stuck in situations that will bring you any kind of stress. Unlike most of your classmates, you never searched for entertainment and fun in the college nightlife; partying, clubbing, getting drunk, high and hooking up with random strangers. You believed in working towards what will benefit you in the future. One day, your English professor gives you the opportunity of a lifetime; to pass his class without having to do anything at all. Most students would jump at his offer without hesitation. But what happens when what he’s asking of you just so happens to be the last thing you would ever find yourself wanting to do? Tutoring the same person you vowed never to get involved with? Mark Tuan was bad news and you’ve sworn to yourself that you wouldn’t interact with him under any circumstances. However, the offer is too good to refuse, but will it really be worth it in the end?

A/N: Hey guys! So this is the first chapter of my new series and I already have an idea of how I’m going to go about with this story I hope everything works out the way I want it to. I’m expecting to have about 5-6 chapters, but then again I never go through with what I plan. This first chapter is just an introduction as to how the main characters meet and so it might be kind of boring and more of a filler chapter but I’m sure the next one will be more interesting. Please enjoy!

Tick, tock, tick, tock.

The sound of a clock ticking during a very important exam that was worth more than half of your grade had to be one of the most annoying and infuriating noises in the entire world; you were sure of it. 

That damn clock on the wall mocked you—with each click, you could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the brink of insanity. Honestly, you wouldn’t be surprised if you were to scream out in frustration and cause every one of your classmates to turn and look at you as if you were a wild animal. You sure felt like one. 

It was as though every time the big hand moved, you’d forget one important piece of information that you studied multiple hours for in order to memorize. No matter how many all-nighters you pulled in the last week, all the notes that you took and repeatedly looked over—nothing seemed to be clicking. 

Your mind was drawing a blank and it was really upsetting you. Ever since you were a little girl, you ate, breathed and slept your education. All you ever wanted was to succeed and do well in school. 

It didn’t help that your parents put this immense pressure on you to succeed—being the youngest and only daughter out of four children led your parents in to expecting a lot more out of you than they did with your three older brothers. They were also extremely overprotective when it came to you. 

Your brothers could go out and do whatever it was that they wanted; attend all these college frat parties, go to numerous bars only to get drunk off their asses and have your parents go and pick them up, drive all around Los Angeles and even leaving your sunny state of California to travel around cities like Las Vegas, Chicago and even New York. Hell, you couldn’t even cross the street by yourself let alone do anything most people would consider fun and exciting. 

Everyone who knew of your existence considered you to be a goody two shoes; the teacher’s pet. You found fun in reading and watching documentaries about murderous affairs. Most people your age were constantly partying, getting drunk, high or both. You never understood why anyone would waste their time and money on unnecessary substances such as alcohol and drugs, but you were never one to judge. 

Every now and then, your professor would inform the class how much time everyone had left to complete the exam. To everyone’s dismay, the door was slammed open; all eyes turned towards the front of the room—curious about who just entered. As soon as your gaze landed on him, you rolled your eyes in irritation. 

“Professor Lee, I’m so sorry I’m late. I—“

“I don’t want to hear it Mr.Tuan, no excuses. You have less than twenty minutes to complete your exam. There’s no retakes, so instead of trying to get out of this one, I’d suggest you take out a pen, piece of paper and start writing.” 

The boy in question made his way towards where you were sitting and gave you a smirk before sitting right behind you. Anyone and everyone who knew Mark was well aware as to why he was tardy. His tousled hair and swollen lips gave it away; it didn’t take a genius to know exactly what he was up to. 

You couldn’t care less about what he did; you hardly even knew the guy, so whatever he would do in his free time didn’t matter to you. As you began to finish up on your last few questions, you felt a tap on your shoulder. 

“Pssst. Y/n.” 

Ignore him and he’ll leave you alone y/n. 

Every time Mark would try and get your attention, whether it was to borrow a pencil or to coerce you in to giving him the answers on one of your assignments, you’d find yourself groaning in frustration. It’s as though he got a rise out of getting under your skin. 

In the three months that you’ve had him in your English 345 class, you observed the fact that he never seemed to bother any of your other classmates except you. He had classmates sitting on either side of him, yet he never once spoke to them. 

You’ve known Mark since middle school; he was one year older than you and he lived down your road, but the two of you never really interacted with one another. You came from two different social groups; his group of friends were very well known throughout your entire campus. 

All seven members were apart of a sports team and they had to be the most attractive guys at your university. They were also notorious for being quite the players; none of them were in stable relationships. 

Mark and his friends were known to hook up with random girls whose names they’d never end up learning and none of them slept with the same person twice. That’s just who they were. 

Every Friday night, they’d throw a party at one of their apartments, one of the sorority houses or they’d rent out a hotel room. You made a pact with yourself to never get involved with any one of them. The last thing you needed was to get your heartbroken by an asshole who could give less of a shit about you. 

You refused to allow any one of his friends; Mark in particular, take advantage of your kind hearted and gentle personality. As much as you wish you could be a cold-hearted, selfish person; especially because so many people have done you wrong in the twenty-two years of your existence, you could never hurt anyone or do anyone wrong the way they would so easily do to you. It just never felt right. 

However, Mark Tuan was someone you wouldn’t care about hurting. He obviously didn’t care about anyone but himself and his atrocious group of friends; so you never allowed him to irritate you for longer than a few minutes. Luckily, he never took things further than a couple of snarky comments and throwing paper airplanes at you every now and then, but you could do without all of his childish antics. 

Sometimes, you wondered why he chose you of all people to pick on and disturb. Maybe it’s because you were one of the only people he’s known since childhood, or because everyone was well aware of your friendly and welcoming personality. You were also considered the teacher’s pet for most of your professors. 

A few of them; your biology, calculus—and even your English professor for this class had asked you to be their teacher’s assistant because they were confident they could trust in you to help them with their classes. Unfortunately, you had to decline. 

With having a full-time job and taking on five classes, there was so much on your plate already and you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to give them the support and time they needed from their assistants. You had only three questions left to answer and you were more than happy to finally finish the test. 

The word exhausted wasn’t even enough to describe just how tired you were. You worked a ten hour shift yesterday because two of your co-workers called in sick and you didn’t have the courage to tell your boss that you were tired from pulling an all-nighter the day before. 

All you wanted to do was return back to your apartment and fall asleep for the rest of the week. The constant tap on your shoulder broke you out of your thoughts and for a second, you almost forgot that you were in the middle of an exam. A groan of disbelief was at the tip of your tongue; who did he think he was coming in to class just minutes before it ended, expecting you to help him because it was painfully obvious he had no idea what he was doing. 

“Y/n, what did you get for number 5? Hey—pssst—y/n—“ 

You continued to scribble down a few more sentences on the last question; wanting nothing more than to get out of the lecture hall but Mark adamantly had other plans. 

“Come on, please? I don’t know how to answer this—“

“Mark, this is an exam. I can’t help you—“

“Just this one time. I promise. I’m already doing bad in this class. I can’t afford to fail—“

“Well that’s not my problem Mark. You need to learn how to manage your priorities better—“

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean—“ 

Right as you were about to retaliate and make a comment about his fuckboy lifestyle, a new presence joined the two of you and you felt yourself tense up at his words. 

“Mr.Tuan, Miss y/l/n, is there a problem here?” 

You shook your head in disagreement and mentally cursed the older boy for putting you in this situation. Not once in your entire educational career have you ever been called out by one of your teachers for not doing what you were supposed to and that was because you never failed to accomplish whatever it was that you were expected to do. There was no way you would let Mark Tuan out of all people get in the way of the reputation you’ve worked so hard to maintain as one of the top students at your university.

“No problem here sir, I was just asking y/n to borrow an eraser.”

Absentmindedly, your eyes rolled to the back of your head at how easily the lie fell from his lips. This happened to be the first class you had him in, but you had a huge feeling he was like this whenever there was something he desired. Whether it was school related, or a way to soothe his carnal urges, Mark would do whatever in his power to get whatever or whoever it was that he wanted. 

It was adamant that he wasn’t going to do well on this test no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t strike you as someone who studied, nor did he seem like he cared about his education in the first place. None of his friends did. College was more about the night life experience; the alcohol, constant partying, drugs, sex—school was the last of any of their worries and you believed that one day, it would all come back to bite them all in the ass. 

“Hm, is that so? Well then, please return back to your exams and if you don’t mind staying back, I’d like to talk to the both of you about something.”

If looks could kill, Mark would be six feet underground with the glare you were now sending him. The universe was not on your side at all today. Not only did the coffee shop get your order wrong, but your botany professor assigned you a group project you weren’t at all excited for and now—you were in trouble for something that wasn’t even your fault. 

To both his and your surprise, you turned around and flipped Mark off. You hated the fact that his stupidity and ignorance was causing you to do all of these spiteful actions that you have never once done to anyone else. He was just that big of a narcissistic asshole and with the way he smirked at you, it was all the more evident that he was enjoying himself. 

Mark got in trouble many times in class—or so you’ve heard people talk about. Everyone talked about him; no matter who it was, every single student on your campus knew of him. Some had nothing but envy and respect towards him and others never understood what was so good about him that the boys wanted to be him and the girls wanted to be under him. 

You were one of the latter; other than his devastatingly handsome looks and how much of an amazing volleyball player he was, Mark didn’t have anything else going for him. He was the definition of a prick; he was cocky and treated people like shit. He also had a brain the size of a peanut which came as a shock seeing as how his younger brother Joey graduated over a year ago and had his bachelor’s degree in pharmaceutical engineering.

In fact, the entire Tuan family seemingly had great heads on their shoulders. Mark’s father owned one of the highest ranking tech companies in all of California. His mom and his oldest sister were realtors. You understood that his wealth and the success of his family were the only reasons why he wasn’t expelled from school. If it were anyone else, they would have been kicked out as soon as their g.p.a dropped below 2.0 like Mark’s was rumored to be. 

“Good going dickhead.” 

He cheekily winked at you before turning his attention back to his exam. You were going to make his life a living hell for what he put you through. Less than ten minutes later, your professor let the entire class know that time was up and one by one, your classmates began exiting the room. You could feel your blood pressure and anxiety levels rising at the thought of getting detention for Mark’s unintelligent disruption. 

As soon as the last person left, you began to come up with what you were going to tell your teacher. You were willing to admit the fact that Mark was trying to cheat and get some answers from you. It wasn’t as though anything bad would happen to him anyway. 

He’d get away with trying to get you to give him answers and maybe even torment you for throwing him under the bus. Oh God, what did you get yourself in to? Your professor sat on his desk as he motioned for the two of you to walk towards him. 

A soft sigh fell from his lips and you were sure you could pass out because of how nervous you were. Even if you knew you didn’t do anything wrong, you were still freaking out about the consequences that came with helping someone on a test. 

“Y/n, I just want to start off by saying you’re not in trouble. So, there’s nothing you need to worry about. However, it has come to my attention that you are looking towards getting an internship at the state capital. You’re majoring in law right? Well, I have a proposition for you, and I know—you might not like this and I’m sorry for asking you to do me such a huge favor like this. I’m sure you’re already busy as it is, but—“ He didn’t even have to ask just yet, you already had a feeling that his favor had to do with the remarkably inadequate boy on the right of you. 

“Could you tutor Mark for me? Well, not just for me. His professors sent me emails about what they can do to help him.” 

He turned over to Mark and released a soft sigh. You felt as though you were going to throw up. Tutor Mark? Seriously? You would rather rip out your eyelashes one by one. There was no way you would do such a thing. Sure, you were willing to stay after class and help your professors grade papers or you could come up with lesson plans in order to cut down the amount of work they had to do, but there was no way in hell you were going to do anything with or for Mark. 

“I don’t like talking negatively about students. I know you’re a smart kid Mark. I acknowledge the fact that you do try; you’re such a great writer, but you don’t put your heart or mind in to anything beneficial. There’s honestly nothing else I can say or do to get you to try harder. You have so much potential, but you fail to use any of it. You could go far in life Mark, but you choose paths that will bring you nothing but destruction. Don’t get me wrong, you’re still so young and I’m sure you want to live your life to the fullest. But sometimes, you need to give up any kind of toxicity that will only bring you down. Y/n—a few other professors and I are willing to write you multiple letters of recommendation and I’m going to give you an immediate A for this class. You don’t have to worry about any other exams or assignments. Most of your time will be taken up trying to help assist Mark. I still expect you to listen in on our lectures just so you can understand and learn the course material, but you don’t have to worry about studying for any tests. I trust that you would pass all of them nonetheless. I know, I shouldn’t be asking you to help another student and please don’t feel like you have to do this. But just know that I and all your other professors would be more than grateful if you do decide to go along with my offer. I’ll give you a week to think about it. You may go now.” 

All the blood in your body immediately began to rush to your head. Everything your professor explained to you went through one ear and out the other. You were being offered to pass the class with flying colors without having to worry about completing any assignments or taking quizzes—anyone in their right minds would willingly accept his proposition. It was the easiest A you could ever receive, yet in order to access it, you would have to go against everything you’ve set your mind to. 

All the pacts you’ve made with yourself regarding Mark or any of his inconsiderate group of friends, were you really going to allow yourself to get involved with someone notorious for manipulating and taking advantage of other individuals without a care in the world? Sure, you wouldn’t have to worry about one of your classes and you’d have more time to focus on your more difficult subjects, but it would be at the cost of your morals and beliefs. 

Mark Tuan was no good—even if it was only tutoring, you had a bad feeling in your gut that he would end up hurting you one way or another. You didn’t consider yourself to be the kind of girl Mark would mess around with or find attractive in any way, but then again—it didn’t matter what the person looked like or what their personality was like. 

Everyone was just another body added to his count of poor unfortunate souls who were tricked in to finding their way in to bed with him. Once your professor excused you, you practically ran out of the building. Knowing that you were his only option, you were well aware that Mark would probably look for you and try to coerce you in to accepting the offer. If that did end up happening, you would stand your ground. 

You weren’t afraid of Mark, nor did you consider him all that intimidating like everyone on campus did. He wasn’t going to get to you that easily, no matter how hard he would put in an effort to. Your professor gave you a week to think about it and there was nothing your school’s notorious bad boy could say or do to influence you to agree in helping him. As you were right about to unlock your car door, you heard feet running in the distance. It didn’t take a genius to know just who the footsteps belonged to. Hell, you picked up your pace in order to avoid him. 

“Y/n, wait!” 

If only you could continue your cold facade; there was a voice telling you to jump in your car and leave without giving him the time of day. You would just deal with him tomorrow. But  you knew being brash wasn’t in your nature—you could never be mean to anyone. Even people like Mark who obviously deserved it. 

There was no way you’d forgive yourself for showing him hostility; you’d only be sinking to his level. You released a frustrated groan—did he not even take a second to think about how much of an inconvenience he was right now? First, he bothered you during a very important exam, then he got you involved in catching the unwanted attention of your professor and now you’re being asked to tutor him. 

Mark Tuan was the devil in human form, he had to be. There was no other plausible explanation as to why he is the conniving asshole you’ve grown accustomed to interact with in the last few months. It’s as if he had vengeance against you. Why else would he include you in his toxic way of going through school? You turned around to face him and crossed your arms in irritation. Right after he caught up to you, he placed both hands on his knees as if he was trying to catch his breath. 

“What? Did you sprint here?”

“Obviously. I had a feeling there was a chance you’d want to talk to me about the deal our professor offered me, but I don’t have the energy to listen to you talk me in to doing so—“

“Come on y/n, you act like tutoring me is the worst thing on this entire earth—“

“Because it is. Look, I have a week to think about this okay? So if I were you, I’d watch how you act towards me and how you talk to me. Whether or not you graduate next spring is all on me. I’m going to warn you right now, nothing you can say or do will have an effect on my decision. If I decide to tutor you, it’s because I want to. Oh, and don’t think it’s because I don’t want to do work or tests. If anything, I would rather complete assignments and study for exams. The option he gave me isn’t an easy way out, so I don’t want you spreading bullshit lies about me just to make me look bad. If I say no, there’s no trying to get me to say yes. Am I clear?” 

This was the first time you’ve ever seen Mark look worried in the many years that you’ve known him for. Almost everyone in his life, teachers, professors, fellow classmates, his friends and even some of his family members—they willingly gave him whatever it was that he asked for. You never understood why; why was everyone so afraid of him? He wasn’t all that muscular or buff. In fact, you’d mentally call him a limp noodle whenever he’d get on your nerves because he was quite the skinny guy. 

But he’s always been like that. Mark was like a chihuahua; he was all bark and no bite. Maybe he used his family’s power and wealth against others, or maybe he would promise financial or social gain to make others succumb to his wishes. Whatever it was—you needed him to know that it wouldn’t work on you. It was obvious that no one has ever talked to Mark the way you currently were just by the way he looked at you in shock. 

You were a force to be reckoned with. If Mark considered you to be a soft spoken, quiet pushover, then boy—did he have something coming for him. He wasn’t wrong to think like that; you were a genuinely kind-hearted soul. However, that was to those who deserved it. Mark wasn’t on that list, nor would he ever make it there. Ever.

“Fine. Just—please think about it? No funny business, I promise. I just—I want to know. Be honest with me. Why do you hate me so much? What did I ever do to cause you so much anguish and distress? Is it something I said? Did? Whatever it is, I’m sorry. Sincerely. I’m not saying that in order to win brownie points or to get on your good side, I mean it. You are the only person on this entire campus who seems to take a disliking to me and I want you to know that I’m sorry.” 

As soon as the last word of apology fell from his lips, you could feel your throat getting choked up. You wanted to believe he was trying to come up with ways to make you feel bad for him; to get you to really think about helping him out. But there was no malice in his speech—his eyes looked so sincere. If he was lying, then damn—he deserved a fucking Oscar. 

Deep down in your heart though, you knew he was being serious. Why were you now feeling bad that you were vehemently treating him like the scum under your toes? Obviously, you weren’t going to grovel at his feet the way most of the girls at your university did—but that didn’t mean you couldn’t be civil with him. 

Mark hasn’t cared about his attendance or grade in this class since the beginning of the semester—so it really boggled your mind as to why he was trying to be involved in his education right now. That wasn’t your business to have knowledge of. You and Mark weren’t friends. You’d probably never ever be friends, so the reasoning for his sudden interest in putting his focus towards his education wasn’t your problem to deal with. 

You brought your vision to the ground; your converse seemed like the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. There was no way you could look at him, you were sure you’d give him your answer if you were to look at him and see how distraught he was from your hostility. You opened the back seat of your car and threw in your bag and your books before making your way to the front seat. 

Thankfully, Mark had a conscience and moved out of the way. He probably didn’t want to get even more so on your nerves and you appreciated his new timid nature. 

Mark Tuan had finally met his match. 

Once you pulled out of the stall, you rolled down your window and took in a deep breath—not sure if you were making the right decision as the words fell off your tongue; but it didn’t matter anymore. 

“Meet me tomorrow in the library at three. Don’t be late or you can forget about having me as a tutor. Oh, and I don’t hate you. But don’t think so highly of yourself, I don’t think all that highly of you either.” 

The soft smile that was now beaming on his face pulled on your heartstrings and soon you felt a warm sensation in your chest—wait. What? Oh God—no. No, no, no. What have you done? 

You just sold your soul to the devil.

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 16-17

back at it.

re: romance novel: “I saw a patch of red flowers, and I thought they would be striking against Cass’s dark hair. She wasn’t exactly a flower wearer, but maybe she’d let me pin one on her dress? The color would set off her fair skin so perfectly. And she could at least keep some in a vase by her bed. I refused to believe there was a person alive who didn’t feel better with freshly cut flowers in her room.” that’s gay rapunzel

i do admittedly have some ambivalent feelings about this passage. on the one hand it’s - yes, very gay. but also it feels to me like such a clear illustration of the difficulty rapunzel has with empathy and listening to other people when their experiences or expectations or needs diverge from hers; she acknowledges that cass isn’t into flowers, but follows it up with “but maybe i can get her to wear some anyway,” and of course there’s the whole refusing to believe anyone could feel differently about having flowers in their room than she does. and it also has this weird undercurrent of - god, i don’t know how to phrase it in a succinct way.

this specific passage was on my mind when i wrote this bit in moonless air chapter 4: 

Still. She plucks at the stitches of her jack-of-plate, self-conscious.

It’s the nicest thing she owns. Soft green velvet sewn over sturdy layers of canvas and steel. Armor. She’d saved up for more than a year to buy it for herself on the anniversary of her adoption two years ago, and at the time it had been nothing but a frivolous luxury. Stupid, really. She’d never had real reason to wear it in Herzingen, not for anything besides teaching herself how to move with its weight and entertaining ridiculous fantasies—but last night, Moira had intimated that their destination in Vardaros is fancy as well as dangerous. So the jack seemed… appropriate.

Sharp. She twitches.

Clothing—fashion isn’t– Cassandra’s always hated dresses. It’s a trait that demands a certain amount of indifference to what other people think of her appearance.

And she can do indifference. Cassandra has indifference in spades. But nobody’s ever paid her a compliment quite like that before: baldly appreciative. Straightforward. Not like all the times Rapunzel coaxed her into tolerating crowns of late-summer flowers because the colors look so nice with your complexion! and not like the Commander’s gruff praise for how grown-up she looked in the hideous pastel gowns that had come with the lady-in-waiting gig.

because – like, cass is butch, and “not a flower wearer,” and here in lost lagoon we have this passage where rapunzel expresses this pretty straightforward attraction to cassandra but in the context of imagining cassandra presenting in a much more feminine way than she is comfortable with - in a dress with flowers in her hair etc - and it just... rubs me the wrong way a little bit. and this is not to say like cass can’t be butch and put a flower in her hair but when it’s paired with rapunzel specifically acknowledging that cass doesn’t WANT to wear flowers then it - yeah i feel weird about this passage. 

and that translated into cass having a whole little crisis over being complimented for her appearance without implicit pressure to be more feminine for the first time ever

anyways

i still can’t get over the name monsieur lefleur 

rapunzel summarizes hervanian culture as “brash but can be funny; distrustful but not mean-spirited” so, basically, they are americans

she is feeling very Prepared to meet with them, in contrast to every other time she’s met with foreign dignitaries or nobility before this. eugene tries to warn her that cass is PISSED with her and she just brushes him off, as one does, by saying that cass is “not all bubbles and moonbeams” but that she is “a softy” inside. 

of course this leads up to cass blowing up and going off while rapunzel tries to calm her down and just - groan this line. 

“People don’t change! You told a criminal a detail that puts my entire future at risk!”

how many times have i said “cass doesn’t act this way in tts” i feel like it’s a constant drumbeat. but i have to say, again, that cass doesn’t act this way in tts. i don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to think like this, given that her father is essentially corona’s chief of police and she idolizes him, but i feel the need to reiterate that there is zero sign of cass having this mindset in tts proper. and it does sort of bother me when people read this into cass’s character because it undermines and delegitimizes her dislike of eugene in early s1. 

which like. tts itself sort of frames their mutual dislike as a mutual problem, but it’s... really not? and imo the best illustration of this is in this exchange from cassandra vs eugene: 

CASSANDRA: Unbelievable. Did you eat all the cookies?

EUGENE: I’m not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies; I’m saving mine for later.

CASSANDRA: Ugh– you are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader!

EUGENE: [scoffing] You know, I can rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality, too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn’t feel right about doing that!

this is the dynamic every time they squabble in early s1. 

1 - eugene does something selfish or thoughtless - in this case taking all the cookies and milk for himself. 

2 - cassandra calls him out for it, and he doubles down, often taking a potshot at her in the process. 

3 - cassandra gets mad and calls his behavior what it is (self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant)

4 - eugene gets defensive and insults her as a person, typically with variations on calling her icy / unfeeling / humorless / joyless. 

which is to say, their fights are initiated by eugene’s poor behavior, and cassandra attacks his behavior but eugene attacks cassandra herself. like, eugene is the dude who insults you and then goes “pfft why can’t you take a joke” when you get upset with him. that’s what this is. 

moreover, when eugene’s, for lack of a better term, residual flynn rider-ness starts to taper off, cassandra’s criticism of his behavior also tapers off, AND she gets much gentler about how she phrases this criticism once he starts to actually take it on board. but there’s no accompanying shift in the way eugene speaks to and about her - the jibes about her being humorless or cranky or soulless literally never stop and at no point does he ever seem to consider that cass might not appreciate them as much as he thinks she does. 

(to be clear, i don’t think they bother cass very much if at all - but they do create and reinforce a perception on eugene’s end that cass Doesn’t Have Feelings and the background radiation of that contributes to the toxicity that develops in season 2.)

like again, pulling from cassandra vs eugene here, eugene is extremely insulting towards cassandra even when he’s ostensibly coming to her defense: 

RANDOM THUG: Look at that, Fancy-Boots has got something to say!

EUGENE: Name-calling? Come on, we’re better than that, aren’t we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other—tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided decision making skills, but do you really want to go down that road?

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY - besides demonstrating an obvious willingness to give eugene another chance once he starts doing the bare minimum to not be a dick to her, cassandra doesn’t like eugene because eugene is an asshole to her and takes the enormous privileges he is given completely for granted. 

saying “well she doesn’t like him because he was a criminal and she doesn’t believe criminals ever change” erases that completely and reframes the conflict as cassandra treats eugene unfairly because of bigotry that she needs to unlearn. lost lagoon takes this even one step further in that lost lagoon eugene is genuinely trying to be responsible, he is taking his new lot in life seriously. he doesn’t need cass to tell him off for acting like an ass because he doesn’t act like an ass. he shows actual interest in getting to know cass and makes an effort to break through her hostility in order to get along. unlike his tts counterpart, lagoon eugene really doesn’t do anything wrong, and that makes cassandra’s intense hatred of him on the grounds that he was a thief look completely irrational and, like i said, bigoted. 

it’s just very frustrating to me.

anyways

rapunzel tries very hard to persuade cass that it’s actually totally fine that she told eugene the secret because she just can’t keep secrets from eugene (except the lagoon which she has arbitrarily decided is totes fine to keep secret and i am pretty sure this contradiction never gets pointed out) - and cass is having none of it, and of course arianna interrupts before anything can get resolved. 

they rush out and monsieur lefleur interrupts them, asking questions about the lost lagoon. he reveals that he heard an ~elegant cloaked person~ inquiring about it in the library. he asks for the book. they say no. the red herring smells to high heavens, and the chapter ends with rapunzel subtly telling cass to hide the book ~for the safety of the kingdom~ and oh my god i just can’t handle the low stakes. 

seventeen picks up from there with cassandra’s point of view; she’s suspicious of lefleur and angsts a lot about how she has no time to train and she needs to get out of corona yada yada. her plan is literally to just walk until she finds someone to hire her on as a guard which. lol. this kid.

i feel like this is the strongest passage in the whole book: 

She said there couldn’t be any secrets between Eugene and her. But why—especially when it meant sacrificing my future and everything I held dear? I’d read about romantic love in poems, and it seemed to me like a spell. Sounded great for the lovebirds, but what about the other people.

Did I just not matter in the face of this love, even though I had been the one to risk everything to show Rapunzel the world? Was I just supposed to fall on my sword because Eugene was uncomfortable that he didn’t have every last piece of information about Rapunzel?

she has a brief argument with owl, who is a pretty obvious stand-in for her own doubts / feeling that she truly belongs in corona and doesn’t actually want to leave. but she has no choice! but it’s stormy, so she can’t leave! oh no!

(i think if tts really strongly felt she had no choice but to free corona, a measly thunderstorm would not be enough to stop her.)

[oh-so-heavenly]

On the portrayal of pain in Loki (2022)

Loki had many things the fans enjoyed, and I did too find several aspects of the series that were truly incredible, although there were some things that overshadowed them (the se!fcest, not fully acknowledging loki's gender as fluid, etc.) but the one thing that really pained me on a personal level was how they portrayed loki's pain.

tom hiddleston's performance is immaculate and it's obvious he truly loves and cares for the character, but there were certain dialogues on the series that were really harmful to me because of how much i care for loki.

i didn't watch thor until i had already watched the avengers, and it was 2014 or 15 by then. the movie had long since been out but for me watching loki in avengers was an incredible experience; it was right then when i started to be a marvel fan (not only because of loki but because of the movie as a whole) and i saw loki as a charismatic villain and i loved him. then i watching thor. i know that thor isn't precisely in the top five best marvel movies but it completely changed how i saw loki.

in avengers, he's the villain. in thor, he's still la boy. tom hiddleston's performance completely stole the show because it's in that movie where we truly see loki, not as a villain but as thor's brother. i'm glad i watched the avengers first because watching thor felt like seeing the background story of a character i already loved. there, we can see how loki is often not taken seriously because of his lying nature, how he isn't the favourite and how his brother (without even realising he's doing it) is sometimes unfair to him. we see a loki that discovers his whole life is a lie and it's the most devastating truth he could have ever heard. it's horrible.

in loki the series we see the avengers' loki, quite literally. in my opinion, the way it was written it seemed as if the people who did it only saw avengers (or decided it was the only movie that mattered) while leaving thor's loki completely aside. if you think about it you'll see it makes perfect sense, if you only saw avengers and then watched the series you could actually describe loki as narcissistic, egoistic, manipulative, and cruel.

all these descriptions ignore the fact 2012 loki is a character deeply in pain. not because of that headcanon saying he was tortured by thanos, but because all his life is a lie, he feels not only unloved but unlovable and the only way he knows how to deal with it is by being cruel, because while he's hurting others no-one can hurt him (also that's what he learnt from odin and thor). he is touch-starved, has low self-esteem, trust issues and fear of abandonment. he's not attention seeking, he's crying for help.

this whole essay is actually about a very particular scene which is really bittersweet to me because i both love it and hate it. the scene is that one in which he's imprisoned with sif who is constantly repeating how horrible he is while she hurts him (lets have into account loki already thinks he's the worse). it's a horrible scene that would kinda make sense for avengers' loki but not for thor's loki because in reality he isn't any of those things.

then comes the bittersweet, because mobius appears to rescue him and he tells him he can be anything he wants to be, even someone good.

now, this is nice, really sweet, i love it, but it also hurts. it hurts because loki isn't bad, he isn't some worthless unlovable narcissistic villain who can "be good" if he decides he wants to be, loki is already good (even if he has done bad things). and to be honest i feel very represented by loki, specially in his struggles and his anger and his pain and fear, so in this scene what it felt like to me was:

there's a person who has lost everything, has low self-esteem, believes themselves to be unlovable and literally the worse. and instead of telling them "no you're not" the writers decided to go with a "yes, you are but hey, maybe if you try to be better (because you right now aren't enough) you won't be (unlovable, worthless)".

this scene is the epitome of how they've decided to portray loki's personal trauma (because finding out his whole life is a lie is indeed a trauma, and discovering his destiny is to die and almost all his beloved ones are dead and some of those are kinda his fault also is) and his pain in the series. in episode one there's also some pieces of dialogue like that and in general the first thing the tva should have done was give this man a bloody therapist.

in conclusion, the portrayal of mental illnesses and trauma in the mcu is awful and in loki this keeps happening. all the pain and trauma of a character is erased because he's "the villain" and it's reduced to some selfish self-preserving asshole who might be good if he gets a redemption arc, while in reality the only thing that can make loki get better is learning how to cope with trauma and being appreciated for once.

[sweet-evie]

Idk but everytime i remember this scene when Lelouch told and do this to C.C. my cluclu feels ASDJFJFJJASK hehe what do you think?

"C.C take care of yourself, don't die" even though he knows she is immortal, i think he said this twice in CG, its just so sweet of him!

"You are not alone. If you are a witch then i'll become a warlock" idk but it feels like a sacrifice for me and something like contract but its more than that

And that when she lost her memories, he looked so devastated and shattered. He took care of her and show her his gentle and affectionate side. He could have left her or 'dispose' her because she has no use for him anymore (He is portrayed like that in CG right? that whenever his piece has no use anymore he'll gonna dispose them)

Also that scene after Mao incident when they formed a new contract from him to hers that hand gesture(?) It is the same gesture when Kallen interrupted that Clulcu scene like throwing cap something XD I'm really bad at describing but hope you understand that haha

Cluclu<3

"C.C take care of yourself, don't die" even though he knows she is immortal, i think he said this twice in CG, its just so sweet of him!

"You are not alone. If you are a witch then i'll become a warlock" idk but it feels like a sacrifice for me and something like contract but its more than that

Ah yes. 😍 It marks a very significant point in their relationship. At the very least, it’s proof that Lelouch cares about her to a certain extent. Personally, I can’t get over how much of a slowburn their relationship is in Code Geass. It took Lelouch an entire R1 to solidly express genuine concern for her, and it took C.C., what, almost the entire show. (Particularly in R2 Ep 21, when C.C. fully agrees that Charles and Marianne’s plans are wholly selfish).

And that when she lost her memories, he looked so devastated and shattered. He took care of her and show her his gentle and affectionate side.

This part too... 😭 What made it worse was that Lelouch, at this point, had lost people he cared about already. First, he had to deal with Shirley’s death and the crippling guilt that comes with it, and of course he’s still worrying about Nunnally, and then his accomplice lost her memory too -- essentially losing everything that made her C.C...

(He is portrayed like that in CG right? that whenever his piece has no use anymore he'll gonna dispose them)

Oh he could have... I believe he would, if he didn’t care about her, and if he hated her. 🤷‍♀️ (Look at how he selfishly treats Rolo xD). 

If C.C. lost her memories very early on, like R1 ep 7 or 6 or whatever, he probably would have considered something cruel. Or he would take care of her just the same, but only because she’s a liability and his ass would be exposed to Britannia. C.C. getting caught (while she’s the vulnerable slave girl spells SHIT for Lelouch xD)

So the fact that in R2, Lelouch not only cared, but was saddened by amnesiac C.C., that kind of means a lot.

Lelouch is an asshole. A lovable and admirable asshole, but an asshole nonetheless. 😅 And I say this with no hate, but with genuine fascination and love for the duality of his character and his complicated personality. He pretty much doesn’t give a shit about civilians in R1. He only started to care when Shirley’s dad got caught up in his actions and when C.C. pointed out that the many people caught in the collateral damage had lovers, friends, and families -- just like him.

If anything, in Re;surrection, I would say C.C. cared and did more for Lelouch than he did for her in R2. Lelouch practically abandoned C.C. after the betrayal of the Black Knights, only expressing concern for her in hoping Kallen would care for C.C... It’s like 🙄 Wow, Lelouch. Wow... XD But I understand, at the same time. Hoping for the best was all that he could do in that situation. Lucky him, Marianne found C.C. before any other Black Knight member could.

It’s something that hurts my heart, but at the same time, gives plenty of fuel for angst fanfiction xD Especially when you take Re;surrection into account.

Mindless Lelouch is worse than Amnesiac C.C... He’s helpless; a toddler inside a grown man’s body. And if anyone recognized him as Emperor (if C.C. didn’t take care of him the way she did), well... imagine the torture that would follow.

Also that scene after Mao incident when they formed a new contract from him to hers that hand gesture(?) It is the same gesture when Kallen interrupted that Clulcu scene like throwing cap something XD I'm really bad at describing but hope you understand that haha

Yes, that was rather sweet, wasn’t it? 😍😊 It’s in the details and the smallest gestures that may look insignificant, but is actually really a big thing for the both of them.

The biggest ‘tiny’ gesture so far, but very significant for them, is that name change at the end of Re;surrection. 😍

[sometipsygnostalgic]

Adventure Time Reviewed: Season 1 part 1

As promised, I’m going through the Adventure Time series. I’m going to write brief reviews for each of the eps as I watch them, in groups. 

Slumber Party Panic to Prisoners of Love

S1E01: Slumber Party Panic

This made an outstanding choice for a first episode, even if it wasn’t the intended premiere, because SPP shows you a brief package of what themes the show would keep through its run, rather than just a brief adventure.  It’s really funny that the first appearance of Princess Bubblegum in the series is her raising the dead, it being a big mistake, and her lying to the candy people to protect them and describing them as ignorant, then making a 12 year old keep a royal promise.  This ep shows Finn’s early season character - an amped up, anxious kid who wants to keep everyone happy but sometimes can’t. And it has Jake trying to pry the information from him, because from Jake’s perspective it is out of character for Finn to keep secrets, and he is also messed up after finding Dead Mr Creampuff’s sock with Finn. (Mr Creampuff and Manfried are both in this ep, and they will continue to be the funniest retcons of all time to me)    What was absolutely retconned after this ep was the brokenness of the Gumball Guardians. It’s hilarious that Bubblegum programmed them to go apeshit if someone breaks a promise to her. If only they could have frozen time during the final battle against GOLB. I liked the part in ETDBIDK where you have to answer a maths question while dodging their attacks, even if it went on a bit too long.   The ep also subverts its message. Bubblegum asks Finn if he learned about the consequences of breaking promises, but Finn says that if he breaks promises he can go on AWESOME ADVENTURES and REVERSE DEATH ITSELF, and PB goes whatever, youre too cute to yell at.  

The music in SPP is surreal. Seriously, listen to this ep. The tension it creates when Finn is told to make a royal promise because the zombies will explode, and how the music so naturally swings with the mood of the ep. Excellent score!

As Jake said,“This is messed up, but cute!”  

S1E02: Trouble in Lumpy Space

This is the introduction to LSP and to Lumpy Space. Lumpy space is a beautiful if rather barren environment. I do think more could have been done with it in AT, because there are not many episodes that take place in space.  One design choice I found SUPER COOL in this ep is the sun has a green halo around it. I can’t actually find the sun again, I even looked on the wiki but there are no images, so it must have appeared for a brief instance. But it looked great!  

LSP as a character was always incredibly selfish, but she also has this vibe of being a teenager who dwells far too much on teenager feelings. She NEVER takes anything seriously, unless it’s teen drama. And you can see that in full effect here.  I love LSP. I love how much of an asshole she is, yet she has this sort of charm, because she’s so spiteful but in the teenage idiot kind of way rather than in a genuinely malicious way. It’s like she doesn’t understand right and wrong and is driven by pure instinct. And she’s voiced by Pen Ward! His LSP voice is the best. 

I love Finn and Jake getting lumpified. There is some great voice acting on behalf of Jeremy Shada to pull this off. 

Favourite joke: When Jake talks about how he might get lumpified, and if it happens Finn says he’ll bury him next to the treehouse, but Jake is alarmed and says he just wanted to be accepted, what did Finn think he was going to say? LMAO  

Other good one: “We were drawn back by your directionless fury. Here! PCHOO! Get your girl back!” “Yeah there’s no girl.”  

Finn in this ep is having some issues communicating. He ends up having an outburst at LSP, even though it wasn’t entirely her fault that the smooth posers took away the orb, it was theirs too. Finn was having a bad day. 

I wish Jellybeans Have Power started with PB and SP bouncing on marshmallows like in this episode rather than having tea in her room. That would’ve been a nice callback. 

Anyway, Trouble in Lumpy Space is great. These two eps are really good introductions to the series. 

S1E03: Prisoners of Love

I love the joke with the snow golem’s cat head. There is an immediate callback to the Pilot, with Finn and Jake having fun in the snow. I always liked how fun these scenes looked, they are very very rare later in the series.  There’s even a homage to penguin surfing, but the penguins are surfing on Jake this time.  Finn and Jake act like jerks to the Ice King for like no reason. “Do you know what Ice King means?” “A big nerd!” “Oh, holy cow!”  *fistbump*  

“There’s a big sleepy lava man in our front yard, and he is SO hot.” “Mmmhmm....” “Nonono I take it - I mean, not like SEXY hot--” “No, no you DO mean sexy hot!”  “NO! I mean---”  Oh Adventure Time. Gay jokes on episode 3, and these would continue throughout the show. But as soon as you imply two of your main girl characters are or were in love, suddenly the network hounds onto you like dogs :/ Rebecca Sugar herself said that it’s much more likely you’ll get gay content in if it’s presented as a joke, or Wrong somehow, like Jake and Ice King getting married later in the season. 

“Now now, I brought you a baby! And a PUPPY!” In his twisted way, Ice King thought the princesses would want to have Finn and Jake there. It’s also a good thing Finn and Jake got kidnapped because otherwise they wouldn’t have discovered Ice King locked up a bunch of princesses. 

Ice King himself is a fun character already. He’s not shown as doing outright evil stuff to Finn and Jake for the sake of it. He seems heavily misguided, and idiotic, trying in his weird way to make friends. Then again.... “IceKing - let the girls go! They don’t want to be here.” “Of course they do! I’d have killed them already if they didn’t want to be here! Right ladies?” Ice King I’m increasingly certain the only reason you haven’t been dissected on Bubblegum’s lab table is because of your connection to Marceline, but that is some late series lore. As for the early seasons, wtf dude!  

The flute song Finn plays in this ep is very similar to the one he plays in Lemonhope part 2. The Lemonhope version is more complete. “You broke it when we tried picking the lock to that sad ogre’s heart!” Oh my god that is such an AT line, you can imagine an entire emotional adventure based on that. 

Ice King has a drawing of Bubblegum on his keyboard... 

I love how the princesses are clearly quite traumatized by this affair, having been held for weeks, but the most Ice King did was ask them about their favourite sports, while threatening to kill them if they didnt play the keyboard..... it’s like a parody of a twisted serial killer. AT’s dark humor is my favourite.  

Finn is a hot headed kid. He knows that the Ice King needs some kind of help but doesn’t know where to start. He knows he’s probably too young to understand. But Jake hasn’t got the patience to help. 

Cosmic Owl’s first appearance!!!!!

[rwdestuffs]

There’s a lot of ironwood stans and a lot of ironwood haters out there. Now, to be fair, one’s opinion on the guy is likely dependent on that person’s view of the real-world military, as well as their own opinion of the writing in general.

Due to the… let’s be nice and use the phrase “lackluster writing”, ironwood is a very polarizing character. One can see his view on wanting to save people, but once a single chess price shows up, he loses it, and plans to abandon all of Remnant.

Keep in mind that the main characters have no reason to trust him. Not only has atlasian forces been around Mantle for a long time, causing distress and by extension, attracting Grimm, but ironwood seems to have no interest in using any atlas resources to build the communications tower. He only expends atlas military resources to protect it. Everything else comes from Mantle, including the time and energy of their best protector.

It took a submission post [here] to kinda spell it out:

The writing is so bad that we aren’t entirely sure if we should be sympathetic to ironprick or not. Given that I am calling him ironprick, you can probably tell where I lie on that whole thing.

Our own views of the US military has kinda skewed our view of ironwood and the atlasian military, so, let’s try to take a much more objective look at what they do, and how it either makes ironwood a tragic character, or a downright villainous one.

The discussion as to how the show has more or less demonized characters with prosthetics, has been done better in this post [here].

Our first introduction to Atlas in general is honestly… not that great. in this post [here], we see that right off the bat, Atlas is… well, sus. Their resident robot girl is “combat ready” and while this seems like an innocent line in this world, it makes one wonder “Why would she need to state that?”

In addition, with the SDC being a major point for resident racist turned un-racist off=screen, Weiss, the view of Atlas is already not that great. And as a quick tangent, but can we at least have mention of an apology? Like, just a random line of dialogue that tells us, yes, Weiss did in fact apologize? If these writers can’t resolve that conflict on-screen, the least they could do is give us the details of what happened off-screen.

With that rant done, it’s pretty clear that Atlas is either full of a bunch of trigger-happy gun-toting military personnel, or that they seem to be gearing up for a war with the rest of the world.

In Volume 2, we also get the reveal that Penny isn’t allowed to have social interaction, and that her status as an android is kept secret for unknown reasons. Had this show gone in the route of “Penny would absorb the Fall Maiden powers, but we run into the philosophical question of ‘She is also a living being, should she not also have a say in how her future is determined?’“, then that would have made sense.

In this Volume, and in Volume 3, we see that not only is the Ozluminati willing to sacrifice a young girl and rob her of her dreams, but that Atlas isn’t willing to expend any resources for her sake either.

With Volume 4, we kinda get a sort of insight into Ironwood and Jacques’ relationship. Jacques more or less tries to play the “I’m your friend” card with Ironwood. Given Jacques’ easily recognizable racism, it’s telling that Ironwood kept him as good company until he decided on an embargo, which, really only hurt the rest of the world. Ironwood wasn’t protecting anyone, he was trying to hold onto resources.

This is further exemplified in Volume 7, where, as mentioned earlier, he is taking Mantle’s resources to fuel his own pet project… And we later find out that that pet project was a total lie, as it turns out, it was just bait to lure out one of Shadow Queen’s minions.

We then see this all culminate in Volume 8, where Ironwood starts working with Watts to get payback on Penny for betraying him. His dialogue mirrors a lot of rhetoric that an abuser would use to try to coerce their victim to their side. And his casual discard of Penny is honestly something to take note of. Ironwood doesn’t value differing opinions. He never wanted anyone who would question him. He wanted loyalty. If he had his way, he would have installed Order 66 in all Atlasian troops to make them turn on any hunter that wasn’t loyal to him.

All of Volume 8 happened because he saw that his supposedly perfect defenses weren’t so perfect after all. And instead of resolving to try to do better once they expelled the intruder, he instead turns on the main heroes for not trusting him.

Now here comes the next question:

Should have team RWBY trusted ironwood from the start?

Now, we as the audience know that all of that stuff about Ironwood makes him look suspicious. But what do the characters know? Well, Weiss knows that they’re a bunch of militaristic assholes who refused to help her or her family escape from her abusive father even though one of their top specialists was her sister.

Ruby and Yang likely have a poor view on Atlas and Ironwood in general thanks to their conversations with Qrow.

And Blake knows that they’re basically the racism capital of the world.

As for team JNOR, their experiences likely come from how team rwby acts. With them being so close, and adding the fact that all of them got arrested for fighting grimm when they first arrived, their views are also negative.

On top of which, Ironwood is the headmaster of Atlas Academy. The last headmaster they trusted (Leo) stabbed them in the back, and the one before that (Oz) lied to them about their mission, so they have every right to be suspicious of Ironwood. They don’t exactly have a good track record with these headmasters.

So clearly, with what both the audience knows, and with what the characters know, their lack of trust in Ironwood was not misplaced.

With all that said and done, let’s dive into the final question of this post:

Is Ironwood a sympathetic villain?

As a blunt answer, yes. As an equally blunt answer, no.

Ironwood is a human character who is in charge of a military force. He hasn’t had to deal with racism like Ilia, Blake, or Velvet, but he also has been through a lot of battles if his large amount of prosthetics is to be seen.

Ironwood clearly has not had the world be kind to him, but by contrast, he hasn’t been kind to the world. As for which came first, is up to interpretation, but the point of the matter still stands: Ironwood was acting like a dictator.

Now, is his horribly described semblance Mettle to blame for this? Well, let’s think for a moment as to how it would have affected the story if we had known about it beforehand. Either in an interview, or because (in this hypothetical scenario) the writers were smart and had maybe Qrow try to talk him down by saying something like “James, calm down. You’re letting your semblance talk for you” really doesn’t matter. Let’s ask ourselves: How would knowing his semblance beforehand had affected our view of this?

Simply put, it would make us sympathetic to him, until we see his aura break and that he’s still going on his main goal of ditching all of Remnant and being selfish. It would have informed us that it wasn’t just Mettle driving Ironwood, Ironwood had that sort of thing in him the entire time, but he reached a breaking point. It’s been said that “people go from 0 to 60 over one little thing” but really, that’s not true. People don’t just go “from 0 to 60.″ People just don’t pay attention to how long a person has been at 59. And quite frankly, Ironwood was doing an admittedly good job at hiding how long he was at 59. He was constantly calm, cool, and collected in a lot of stressful situations, like when he had to confront the rest of the council.

But we also know that he was locking up dissenters. Labeling them as “traitors” and more or less, acting like he knew best. Plus, we know that he was doing a lot of questionable things in the past that makes a lot of his actions rather dubious at best.

But, once we view this with the view of the US Military, which Atlas is based on, intentionally or not, we kinda see something. Not some “grand protectors of the border and ideology of the country” but a bunch of power-hungry generals willing to throw bodies just to get their way, only for them to be unprepared when they are the ones who get invaded. And for them to basically be the fuel that gives their supposed enemies their power to cause so much destruction. Atlas was already at a breaking point. All Salem and her forces did was just add that one little extra bit of weight that caused it to all come crashing down.

In this case, literally.

[storm-in-a-glass]

My favorite ships from kdramas - appreciation post (part 2)

I have no idea if you've been waiting for that but I described the last list as part one, so I guess I should make another one. So today is The day. BTS plays in the background, list is ready, I have exam in two days but who cares, let's go!

1. What’s wrong with secretary Kim? - Kim Mi So & Lee Young-Joon

Let’s be honest. We have Park Min-Young and Park Seo-Joon. It had to work. They had to had crazy-like chemistry, it was meant to be. Whenever there was a kiss I’ve been worried my computer will set himself on fire bc all this hotness. Iconic comedy, iconic character of Park Seo-Joon, iconic romance. Also can we all agree that Park Min-Young have like the best luck when it comes to screen partners? Shit, girl. You must have saved thousands of people’s lives in your past life.

2. While you were sleeping - Nam Hoong-Joo & Jung Jae-Chan

Second Male Lead Syndrome hit hard with this one. But still not hard enough to stop me from gushing over the Nam Hoong-Joo and Jung Jae-Chan cuteness. I mean, c’mon. Suzy is motherfucker queen and Lee Jong-Suk is so pretty it makes my eyes hurt. Plus I adore that they were just so idk normal? Not perfect like most of the kdrama’s couples. She has growing hair leg, and he can be gross sometimes. SO WHAT?! Welcome to the real world. They loved each other anyway.  

3. Innocent man/Nice Guy - Seo Eun-Gi & Kang Ma-Roo

Man, between all this fluffy couples this one is kinda dark. But that's exactly what I loved about them. She was a bitch, especially at the beginning. He was a the dickest dick in the whole Dickland, Mayor of Dickville. Two sinners, bad, broken and selfish. Raw. Different. Flawed. They were hurting, they've been hurt. The ending of the drama was meh for me but this couple stands strong. And you know that Song Joong-Ki is the only one for me. He just makes me so happy whenever he's on the screen.

4. Touch your heart - Oh Jin-Shim & Kwon Jung-Rok

They proved love exists in Goblin and now they did it again. Firstly: Oh Jin-Shim is one of my favorite female characters ever. She's just so cheerful and inspirational. I watched this drama when my life was kinda shit, but after watching her journey back to the top I felt great, like I could do anything. Secondly: Kwon Jung-Rok is the cutest idiot ever. He's so charming with this awkwardness of his. And together they create this cute, healthy kind of relationship I stan so much. LOVE THEM.

5. Her private life - Sung Deok-Mi & Ryan Gold

So like I said before I'm pretty sure that Park Min-Young could create great chemistry even with a plain chair. But holy shit, in Her Private life we're getting whole Mendeleev's table. The story is pretty simple, there's no incredible groundbreaking plot, but Kim Jae-Wook is so hot and works so amazing with Park Min-Young that I didn't even care for the plot. I just wanted to look at him as long as I could. Also, Ryan Gold is perfect boyfriend. I want him for next Christmas.

6. Angel's last mission: love - Lee Yeon-Seo & Dan

Omg, I shed so many tears on this one. Being completely honest I wasn’t huge fan of Lee Yeon-Seo at the beginning, she was really annoying for me. But Dan, my baby L, was such a cutie I decided to watch it despite of female character and boy, I am so happy I did that. It was truly touching, sad but beautiful story. And mains are just two puppies, so in love with each other, that you have this sudden desire to leave kdrama’s world, go outside, meet someone and being as cute as Yeon-Seo and Dan. Fortunately, this desire passes very quickly. I have another episode to watch, you know?

7. Cheer up! Sassy go go - Kang Yeon-Doo & Kim Yeol

I know most of you have a very strong Second Man Lead Syndrome when it comes to Sassy Go Go. And let me just tell you: I would die for Seo Ha-Joon. Ji Soo is one of my favs and he did such a breathtaking job in this drama. When I started watching it, I've actually been thinking I would be suffering, bc after watching few videos on YouTube I knew that SMLS is strong with this one. I wanted to ship him with Kang Yeon-Doo. And partly I do, I am. BUT DAMN. KIM YEOL. Like I said, I was prepared for loving Seo Ha-Joon. I was rooting for him even before watching. But then that one scene happened and that was it. I was done. You know which one I'm talking about. "One, you move away first. Two, I move away first. Three, since we're in this position anyway, we do it". It made my heart beat faster and since that moment I was sold. 

Btw that plot line with parents was totally unnecessary. Why, writers? Why?

8. Because this is my first life - Joon Ji-Ho & Nam Se-Hee

This drama is so important for me, you have no idea. I just felt it to the core of my being. And no, I didn't married my hot landlord although i'm not opposed that idea but it's just freaking incredible story about growing up, learning how to do this whole adult-shit, being your own person, being someone's person and finally about finding yourself. GOD, IT WAS SO GOOD. And main couple! UGH. My babies! I know I named Kwon Jung-Rok from Touch Your Heart the cutest idiot ever but in that moment I guess I had to forget about Nam Se-Hee, bc he wins that category. But he was also understanding and respectful and patient and just...kind. Just simply kind but somehow that is everything. Plus I love Kitty. It's the prettiest cat ever.

9. Extraordinary you - Eun Dan-Oh & Haru

The latest drama I watched and holy guacamole, I loved it so much. And even though I love Baek Kyung with my whole heart I don't even know why because he's an asshole, I just have to admit that Haru and Eun Dan Oh are freaking perfect for each other. THE WAY HE RESPECTED HER. Damn, that's some valuable shit right here. Watch and learn, boys. WATCH. AND. LEARN.

10. Encounter/boyfriend - Cha Soo-Hyun & Kim Jin-Hyuk

The last but not least. Actually, it’s my fav couple on this list. Noone is able to dethrone Kang Mo-yeon & Yoo Shi-jin from DOTS from being my fav ultimate, but damn I must say Soo-Hyun and Jin-Hyuk were really close to do that. I fell in love with them since the first scene and now, long after watching it, I still think about them everyday. I’m not even joking. Where you can find a man who’ll take cute photos of you and dance salsa with you on Cuba? With whom You could talk about poetry and art? And who will be as cute as Park Bo-Gum? Any ideas? I’m not asking for friend, I’m asking for myself.

[rubisaurus98]

.......will u stab me if i say lugina

No, I am not going to stab you, but I did write a lot of raw opinions and not all of them are pleasant. Just a forewarning.

Why I like them: I dunno, I guess his sword’s got a nifty ability and he’s memeable with him being the most asshole character, yet being the victim of unfortunate funny inconveniences like the boulders and shit. I also like how we develop him, if that counts.

Why I don’t: I swear, I could write at minimum a 2-page paper as to why Lugina Beil’s raw canon character genuinely frustrates the hell out of me. A lot of it being more directed at how he’s written and the implications of the world he’s written into and how it reacts to him rather than about him, the fictional character, if that makes sense. A lot of missed potential if I were to compare him to other characters of other series who started out similar to him, but developed more noticeably for the better over the course of their own plots. Like, the development of a story-prominent heroic-aligned selfish asshole character into someone who isn’t afraid to show he cares about his comrades and will lay down his life for them, yet still retains a certain “edge” to him is such a tried-and-true method to me when it comes to development satisfaction in my experience, that to see it not happen to a certain effect/extent is whiplash. The best comparisons that I can think of at them moment are like, Gajeel Redfox and Laxus Dreyar from Fairy Tail and Jean Kirstein from AoT. I’m serious, like, read up on them, then compare them to Lugina. Gajeel’s even a father-to-be in Fairy Tail rn, and he’s both ecstatic and very protective of his partner. I know I keep comparing Lugina to other characters of other series with their own developments, but still, like, I could also name a bunch of conjectures as to why Lugina doesn’t seem to go down a similar path. In short, now that it seems his tale is finished without so much as a follow-up, I dislike how the writers wrote Lugina more than Lugina the character himself.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Lugina and BF1 Summoner vs Gazarva at the end of BF1.

Favorite season/movie: I liked him best during Arcs 2 and 3. More Arc 3.

Favorite line: “ [Liomerg] wasn't just talking about physical strength, he meant mental strength as well... Basically the only thing holding [Karl] back is himself. For all that he tries to handle things himself without depending on others, he doesn't have the resolve to see it through on his own. You call that kindness? That's just weakness!”--Estria, area after Shusui is killed by Mora. An “asshole’s got a point” moment.

Favorite outfit: BF2 Armor and that picnic art where he’s hogging all the spaghetti and Seria’s kicking him in the head for it. You know the one.

OTP: Really, it’s only with OCs, or in My Verse, where I flesh things out considerably between him and Yurika. If Alim bothered to fill in more about his actual relationship with Yurika, I could’ve actually put them here. I also ship him with Unlearning Toxic Masculinity, Some Fucking Therapy, and Having Better Character Development Based Of Other Examples I Know From Heroic-Aligned Characters Who Started Out Similar To Him, but we can’t have nice things in this fandom. Maybe him and Bertz if Bertz weren’t closeted or whatever his deal with Lugina is.

Brotp: Deadass, I don’t know. Maybe Karl post-BF1?

Head Canon: I still think he whittles wood as a hobby and one of his best projects is a full-scale replica of Sky Harbinger. And that he wholeheartedly and openly enjoys sea shanties. Oh, and that he definitely still invited BF1 Summoner and Tilith to his wedding. Hell, he explicitly said they had to come because no fucking way those two are gonna miss out on this. Plus, Tilith wouldn’t let him hear the end of it if he didn’t.

Unpopular opinion: I’ve said some piece of this in the one I did for Sasha, but wait! There’s more! And this is more of a general statement, but I really do think that there’s a lot left out/missing/glossed over in terms of BF2′s writing that would make things a lot more well-rounded. Plus, I think I’ve also already said some things that belong here under “Why I Don’t”. Also, only reason why Alim had Lugina be the only main cast member to start a family other than to show that he’s “developed for the better over 20 years” is because they made Karl and Paris still horny for BF1 Summoner and Seria...Seria, idk about. Probably applying the “No Guy Wants an Amazon” trope with her.

A wish: That Alim didn’t bull-rush Brave Frontier 2 and actually took efficient time to develop the story more so it’d have a longer shelf life? Then we’d at least be able to hopefully see more of the cast as a whole, and hopefully actually develop instead of what was probably squishing everything down and throwing in everything no matter how developed it was? Because BF2 seems more like an Afterword that’s trying to be a proper sequel. I’d wish for more between the games development, too and that Alim isn’t done working with Lugina and the rest of them.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: Some implication/confirmation/allusion that Lugina cradle-robbed Yurika; any indication that there’s something off about their relationship beyond what’s traditionally considered healthy/normal married couple behavior plus what we’ve been given.

5 words to best describe them: Wish he was written better.

My nickname for them: Rat Man/Bastard. Potato Bastard.

[bloodraven55]

We Need to Talk About Blake Belladonna

I’ve made a number of posts recently explaining how Adam successfully fooled parts of the fandom into thinking he was something he wasn’t, but now I want to talk about how he also successfully fooled parts of the fandom into thinking Blake is something she isn’t, because there are far too many people who seem to fundamentally misunderstand her character.

In order to make my point, I’m going to go through some of the words I’ve seen some of those people use to refer to Blake.

“emo”

This is one of the most common ones I see thrown around, and back at the beginning of the show I could see why. But it’s very telling when people continue to use “emo” to describe Blake even once we find out what Blake’s been through to make her into the person she is today, because it shifts the blame to her by dismissing her very real trauma she’s faced as just her being “emo.”

“shy”

This is the one that really clues me in that someone has zero clue who Blake actually is. Because you’d think that given her very first appearance is her sassing the hell out of Weiss, given the number of scalding roasts she’s delivered, given she openly brags about knowing how to disable military-grade security systems, and given when Weiss refers to her as the “quiet one” in V5 Blake literally corrects this very mistake herself, that people would realise that Blake isn’t shy. But I guess their desire to cling to their headcanons is stronger than their ability to pay attention to the show.

“quiet”/“passive”

This is the same woman who pointed out the persistence of Faunus inequality to Ozpin during her interview to get into Beacon, humiliated the school bully in the middle of a lesson in front of the entire class, set fire to her own house in order to win a fight, and tied up a racist asshole while threatening him with immense bodily harm and had to be held back by Velvet in After the Fall. Yes, she is so quiet and passive.

“privileged”/“entitled”/“pampered”

Lmao she grew up living rough on the road with her parents in the White Fang and has been attending marches, protests, etc. since she was a little child, not to mention they only got the big house after Ghira became the Chieftain of Menagerie meaning she wouldn’t even have lived in it hardly at all before she went home in V4 since she was once again living rough with Adam’s splinter group of the White Fang, so that doesn’t scan whatsoever.

“coward”

I saved the best until last, you’ll be pleased to know. Over the course of the show Blake has left her abuser on her own with no support system, signed up to risk her life protecting innocent people from the Grimm, chosen to try and stop the White Fang instead of staying out of the fight multiple times, put herself in danger by throwing herself between Yang and Adam and saving Yang’s life in the process, and faced her personal demon by herself on more than one occasion and gone toe to toe with him.

Those are not the actions of a coward, and falling back on an ingrained defence mechanism once because she saw someone she loved brutally maimed doesn’t make her a coward, especially not when she makes the decision to fix that mistake and stop running away.

Now we get to the main point, which is that if you consider for a moment, you’ll realise that almost all of those words are the kind of thing that Adam used to call Blake in order to put her down and dismiss her worth.

“Running away again? Is that what you've become, my love? A coward?”

“What you want is impossible!”

“Still too afraid to face me on your own.”

“Can you do anything besides run?!”

“But you're selfish! You're a coward!”

And several times in the show we see Blake parrot the same degradation that Adam used on her about herself. She calls herself a coward, consistently doubts her own judgement, and says that her Semblance is only good for running away, because Adam drilled those ideas into her head until she believed them herself.

The only reason that Blake is withdrawn and closed off at the start of the show is because she’s had to learn to be that way as a defence mechanism against Adam’s abuse. But it isn’t really who she is, and the countless glimpses we’ve seen of her true self from the very first episode of the show should have been enough for people to figure that out.

The whole point is that Adam is totally wrong in everything he says about Blake, and by extension she is totally wrong every time she beats herself up emotionally the same way he did because he made her question herself so much that she thought only his opinion of her was correct.

Anyone who took what Adam said and Blake then quoted about her character at face value and thought it was right either just missed huge swathes of the show and doesn’t have the faintest idea how to read between the lines, or just like Adam they want Blake to “behave” and so they use the same bullshit rhetoric and create faults in her that don’t exist to give them an excuse to hate her because she’ll never be the person they want and/or expect her to be.

To summarise for the Blake haters with the narrative comprehension of a turnip, here is a list of things that Blake is not and never has been:

emo

shy

quiet/passive

privileged/entitled/pampered

a coward

And here is a list of things that Blake is at least at the beginning of the show:

closed off

withdrawn

traumatised

No wonder y’all think her characterisation is “inconsistent” if you don’t even have the most basic understanding of what her core character traits actually are i.e. brave, compassionate, ambitious, and really goddamn dorky or the most basic knowledge of the effects that emotional abuse has on people in the first place.